Star Wars Risk
by SirNotAppearingInThisFilm
Summary: The Jedi Council members and Chancellor Palpatine decide to play Risk! Flames welcome! lol Please R&R!


Star Wars Risk

A/n: This is a creation of coffee, bacon covered in syrup, and pancakes. BAAD combination! Anyways, this takes place about a week before Episode 3. I guess.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Wars, Risk, or Star Wars Risk. Well, I do own Star Wars Risk and my mom never lets me be a Separatist. I mean, come on!

The Jedi Council could think of nothing to do. They had already gone through all the important meetings scheduled for the following week, drank all the coffee in the Temple, called the Supreme Chancellor over to the Temple on one of his rare visits, and ransacked the Temple cafeteria. Now they had nothing to do and were hyper on coffee with the Supreme Chancellor staring at them as they fidgeted in their seats, trying to think of what to do next.

"Hey, I know!" declared Obi-Wan. "We can ransack the cafeteria!"

"We already did that twice today" answered Master Windu.

"Oh yeah." Said Obi-Wan, sighing.

"Hey! We could play Risk!" said Agen Kolar. All the Council members agreed and Yoda went to get Risk.

"I've never played Risk," said Ki-Adi-Mundi.

"Well, we'll teach you how to play." Said Obi-Wan.

"Whatever" he answered.

"Only Star Wars Risk, do we have" said Yoda, entering. "Find the original, I could not."

"Cool! We can play the Star Wars version! Hey, what's the Chancellor doing on the board? And what's Order 66?"

The Chancellor coughed uncomfortably. "Well, um, you see, the, um…"

"Hey! The instructions say that it has to do with the Jedi!"

"It wasn't my idea!" Palpatine shrieked.

"What wasn't your idea? It doesn't say what Order 66 does."

"Oh.. uh… it wasn't my idea to play Risk?"

"Hmm. Confused, Palpatine is. Played this before, have you?"

Palpatine mouthed the words a few times before he realized what Yoda meant. "Uh, no, actually."

"Teach you, we will."

"I'm the Republic!" Adi Gallia said at once.

"I'll be a Separatist!" Obi-Wan said. Mace grabbed his lightsaber and pointed it at Obi-Wan.

"In the GAME, Mace! I'm not a Separatist!"

"Oh, sorry."

"From the Republic, I shall be. Played this version, I have not. Interesting, this game will be." Yoda nodded to himself in concurrence.

"Very well, then. I will be the second Separatist team." Said Palpatine.

Mace stared at him. "Chancellor, you're the CHANCELLOR of the REPUBLIC! How can you be the Separatist team?"

"Well, there's only 4 players."

"…"

"Okay, well, let's play!"

So they started playing. Almost immediately, the Chancellor took the Core Worlds and got 5 extra guys at the start of his turn, much to the dismay of Yoda. Almost as quickly, Yoda captured Wild Space, the Colonies, and the Mid Rim. Obi-Wan and Adi shared the Outer Rim and Obi-Wan managed to take the last territory.

(1 hour later)

"Saleucamia to Boz Pity." Said Adi Gallia

"SITH SPIT!" yelled Obi-Wan, who had 2 guys on Saleucamia. "Why don't you attack the Chancellor for once?"

Everyone looked at the Chancellor's spaces, all of which had at least 10 guys on each of them.

"Uh, never mind."

"Don't worry, Obi-Wan. Soon, we will-"

"DON'T WORRY? I have about half the planets that you have! And I only get 3 guys for having this territory! Why don't you help me?"

"I am helping you!"

"No you're not!"

"Yes I am. I am helping both of us by not getting involved in your plight."

"How is that helping me?"

"Just take the dice, Kenobi!"

"Fine!" said Obi-Wan, grabbing the white dice and rolling.

"2"

"Ha! I got a 6!"

"You can't use the Force, Adi!"

"I'm not!"

"Are too!"

"Artoo? Where?" asked Anakin out of nowhere. Everyone stared at Anakin.

"Fine! I don't need any of you! I'm more powerful than any of you! I'm going to go hug Padme! I mean, uh… I'm gonna go… say hi to some random senator." And he left.

Mace stared at the other Council members. "Did he say what I think he said?"

"Think so, I do."

"…"

"… yeah…"

"Hm... Well, he'll get over it."

"Eventually."

"Agreed."

"Right. You're cheating, Adi!"

"Fine! I won't use the Force." So Adi rerolled… and got a 1.

"Yay! You lose 1 guy!"

"All right then, Let's not go against Boz Pity just yet."

"We have yet to figure out what Order 66 is."

"Hey! I bet all the Jedi go on vacation!"

"Uh… yeah, we'll go with that." Said the Chancellor

"Obi-Wan's turn, it is."

"Don't forget to move Chancellor Palpatine."

"I know. What do all these numbers mean?"

"They're good for us."

"Oh… well, we have the numbers 3 through 8, and the end of the ladder thing is 2 steps away…"

"Well, why didn't you tell me? Call Order 66!"

"But I thought the ladder was Order 66."

"No, you idiot! Call it, quick!"

"Okay... Execute Order 66!" Somewhere outside the Temple, lightning struck, adding to the effect and causing everyone to ooh and aah.

(2 minutes later)

"SWEET! Being a Separatist rocks!" announced Obi-Wan. Adi and Yoda glared at him and the Chancellor.

"Not funny, this is. Win, the Separatists can not!"

"What, do you think this will happen in real life?" asked Mace

"Yeah, I mean pshaw, Yoda! Like anyone in there right minds would attack Boz Pity from Saleucamia!" Obi-Wan pointed out

"Yeah, and like the Separatists would ever attack Kashyyk!" said Adi

"And the Separatist don't own Coruscant!" Ki-Adi-Mundi put in.

"Yeah! And there's no plan to exterminate the Jedi using the Clone troops they command!" added Palpatine.

Everyone stared at him.

"I mean, uh, the Jedi won't go on vacation."

"Oh, well, yeah." Everyone agreed

"Still, not fair, this game is!"

"It's freakin cool, though!"

"For a Separatist, it is."

"Well, yeah."

"For the Republic, it sucks."

"Think it's too late to change sides?" asked Kit Fisto. Everyone pulled out their lightsabers and pointed them at Kit.

"Whoa, I meant it as a JOKE! Gaw, lighten up! We're in a war, for crying out loud!" He yelped.

THE END!

Don't forget to review!


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